Positive affirmations are one of the best ways to reduce stress and increase your peace, happiness and success. Let me tell you how. A positive affirmation is a positive declaration that something is true. In other words, it is a statement of something that is true and it is stated in a positive way. An example of a positive affirmation is “I am a lovable person.” Saying something like, “I will not let this get me down,” is NOT a positive affirmation, because it is stated in a negative way. Positive affirmations help you to combat some of the negative or dysfunctional beliefs that you may have "learned" about yourself. Some examples of negative/dysfunctional beliefs are: "I don't deserve to be successful," or "I am an anxious person," or "Being happy is difficult and takes a lot of work," or "I am not smart enough, attractive enough, good enough, etc." These negative/dysfunctional beliefs become part of the subconscious mind and often do not allow you to move forward to become successful in life. In order to feel peaceful and happy and have the success you deserve, you must combat these beliefs, and this takes time. Research has shown that it takes one to three months of continuously repeating something before it even begins to become part of your subconscious. In order to completely replace old beliefs, it takes even longer. So, if you really want to get something accomplished, you should have a list of positive affirmations that are stated in a positive way, because they will help you to focus on the positive. If you want to get a LOT accomplished, you should have a LOT of positive affirmations, a whole list of them! I have always had a lot that I wanted to accomplish, so I do have a list of positive affirmations hanging on the mirror in my bathroom. Do you want to know what my list says? It says that I am calm, confident, safe and secure. It says that I am positive, outgoing, and caring. It says that I am excited about my future and my career. It says that I am intelligent, creative, healthy, energetic, and successful. And, if you want help starting a list of your own positive affirmations, email me at ChristianPerez_MFT@yahoo.com.
Here is a great exercise to help you improve your life right now! Get out two sheets of paper and fold each one down the center, so that you have a right and left side. On the left side of the first page, write "Energy Drainers." Underneath this, write down all the things in your life that are currently draining you of your energy. Remember to be brutally honest here. On the right side, at the top, write "plan." Underneath this, and next to each of your energy drainers, write down what you want to do to eliminate or decrease the energy drainer. Make sure your plan is specific and measurable. For example, you can write "My kids" as one of your energy drainers, with a plan of "hire a babbysitter for three hours a week so I can spend some time with my partner/spouse."
Now, do the same thing on the second page for "Energy Gainers." When you are finished, start putting your plans into action! By doing this, you can improve your emotional health (by having something to look forward to), decrease your stress, and avoid burnout. This exercise should be both positive and fun, and should help you to recognize the improvements/desires/goals that you want to make in your life, and what to do about them. Enjoy!
Setting a goal is kind of like making a wish and then planning for it to happen. The first thing you need to do when setting a goal is to figure out what you really want (your ideal or your dream). After you’ve done this, then you need to figure the approximate length of time it will realistically take you to achieve your goal. You will also need to figure out the methods you will use to achieve it. But, the key is to WRITE DOWN your goals and your plan, and then post this in a place you can see every day. In the literature I have read, people who write down their goals achieve them MORE THAN 80% of the time. People who do NOT write everything down achieve their goals LESS THAN 20% of the time. So, make sure to write down your goals. Let’s give an example. Let’s say that I want to buy a new home. However, with my current salary and savings, I probably can’t afford the home that I want. So, before I can get to the long term goal of buying the home that I want, I have to make a plan. So, I write down my long term goal, the new home. Then, I need to find out the cost of the house, what it will take for me to get a loan, and what the monthly mortgage will be. So, I write down that I need to contact the realtor selling the home and a loan accountant. Most likely, because my goal is a lofty one, I will need to increase my monthly salary, increase my savings, and figure out the best way I can do this. Then, I take everything I’ve written down, and transfer it onto another piece of paper so that it makes sense. I write down my long term goal at the top, in big, bold letters. Then I write the savings and monthly income I will need below my goal. Below that, I write how I can achieve this, and where I can get more information, if any, on how to achieve this, such as reading books on how to make myself more marketable so I can increase my salary. Once I’m done, I post my goal up in a place where I can see it every day, so I am reminded that I need to work on it if I really want it. I work on it a little at a time, and check on my work every few months, until, voila I have my new house! But in addition to having large long term goals, I like to have smaller short term goals too, such as planning something fun every week. This gets me through the week with something to look forward to. In fact, I like to have weekly goals, monthly goals, and yearly goals, in addition to large, long-term goals. And, I stay motivated and focused on my goals by posting them all up in a place where I can see them. If you would like an example of a worksheet that I use for setting goals, please email me at ChristianPerez_MFT@yahoo.com.